A Goodbye of Sorts

Once again I apologize for being such a bad blogger. I have taken a hiatus of sorts from the blogging world in general. I apologize for not commenting on your blogs and I am just now catching up. The reason why I have been away so long is that I have been doing some thinking regarding the future of my blogging. For the longest time, before Noah, blogging was such an outlet for me. It really helped for me to get my feelings out and to know that I wasn’t alone in my struggles. I met some amazing women over this time period and I hope to continue to keep in touch with every one of you. But, ever since Noah was born I haven’t really felt like blogging and I haven’t been able to figure out why. I admit, I am much busier than I ever was before and I do have less time to blog but that’s not the reason why I haven’t been blogging. After doing a lot of thinking and soul searching I think I have found my answer. This blog, as well as my other blog, is still connected to my infertility. Not sure if that makes sense but let me try and clarify. For me, this blog was an extension of my old blog, therefore still connected to my discussions about my infertility. I need to move on from that place. Am I saying that I want to forget everything I went through? Absolutely not! But the truth is I’m ready to move on. I do want to continue blogging but I want my blog to be about more that my life as a mommy after IF. I want my blog to be about not only my life as a mommy but also about my family, my hobbies, just my life in general. I feel like I have so much more to share. I also feel like I really need to close this chapter of my life completely, and for some reason it doesn’t feel that way here. So, I’m closing up shop (again) and starting a new blog (again). I understand if this means the end of the road for some of you. I totally understand if you are not in a place that you can follow me to my new “home”, but if you are, I hope you will join me on the other side.

However, before I direct you to my new blog I want to say a few things in the event that you do not wish to read a blog about me and my family that has nothing to do with IF (for now, doesn’t mean in the future it might not come up again.) I am not “cured.” I know you often hear people tell you that they know someone who has been “cured” after having their first child. I am still very much “broken.” Things still don’t work like they should, I don’t ever get AFs on my own, and therefore the PCOS is still very much in control of my body. What does this mean for me? Barring a miracle my precious Noah will most likely be an only child. I just can’t imagine ever spending that kind of money again or putting my body through that kind of torture. Maybe one day I will change my mind but for now this is how I feel. I would be thrilled if one day I was able to get pregnant on my own but the reality is that will most likely never happen. And for now at least, I’m okay with that. I am so very happy with the way my life turned out and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Every single day I thank God for the blessings in my life and for giving me the chance to be a mother to Noah. Right now I just want to focus on getting my life back. I am just beginning to learn how to live again. I am just now beginning to scrapbook again and have even developed a new hobby of digital scrapbooking. I want to take a cake decorating class. I have neglected myself for so long that I had almost forgotten who I am. So I am hoping that this new blog will let me continue to blog, which I love to do, but give me a place to share those other pieces of my life too. My new blog is called “The Vollmerhausen Family Blog” because on rare occasions Shawn may make a post as well. This is also a blog that I will be sharing with family to keep them updated on our family. Please, I would be honored if you would follow me as I close this chapter in my life but I totally understand if you cannot. I will continue to read all of your blogs and I promise when I get caught up I will start commenting again.

The Vollmerhausen Family Blog